Lunch Lady: R.I.P.

Here's the original recipe I got and then I basically screwed the whole thing up and did whatever I wanted. Enjoy!!


3/4 cup powdered (confectioners) sugar
1/4 cup soymilk
1/4 molasses and Mike's Hot Honey mixed
(I used about 1 part molasses to 2 parts honey)

1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp fresh ground nutmeg
Some cinnamon
Some ground cloves
I wasn't really paying attention because I was watching the Walking Dead and drinking the Guinness Extra Stout that I had initially planned on throwing in here. 
I guess you could say it's a "pinch" of each even though that sounds a little prissy
2 tbsp cocoa powder
Bought this at Whisk down the block. It tastes really amazing even on it's own. Although, I can't really tell if this adds anything to the flavor of the cookies because I've been taste-testing these cookies for like 8 hours straight. For my own sanity I'm going to say that it does

2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 salt

even MORE powdered sugar
some soymilk
some corn syrup.
I made this at my desk and did not measure any of it, sooooo... godspeed.
Just make sure it is the consistency of icing and that it is sickeningly sweet

Whisk together oil and sugar in a large bowl
Add molasses, honey and soy milk
(also don't be alarmed if you've never used molasses before- it smells horrible and looks like motor oil and reminds me of that movie Critters for some reason. But it doesn't taste horrible. So, don't worry)

You're supposed to sift in the dry ingredients while mixing the dough, but I had no patience so I threw it all in at once and mixed it with an electric beater and it was perfectly fine. The dough is going to be stiff and kind of like Playdough when it's done.

Wrap it in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for about an hour. Relax. Do some dishes. After that roll the dough out onto a lightly floured surface. It should be almost 1/4 of an inch thick. Make some cookies.
Preheat oven to 350. Bake for about 8 minutes or so. They look awful when they're burned so keep an eye out.  

Wait til they're cool. Ice them. Eat them. Bring some to your coworkers and your poor friend who has to bartend on Halloween and watch a million Miley Bears stick their tongues out and puke all over the place. 

ALSO, check out these Catbird babes all dressed up as the Spice Girls for Halloween!

I can't even.

<3 Ash

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